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Empty Arms
Today. I’ve been dreading today since November 3rd, the day we lost our baby. Today was my c section date. I should be holding a new baby. I should be smelling that new baby smell and introducing a new...
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Failure to Thrive
Anyone heard that term? I have. When Quinn was born she lost weight almost immediately and I was in the first few days of learning to nurse her properly, the hospital pediatrician came in the room...
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Weigh in, Week 19 and the weekend
I’m behind by a week. Sorry. I lost this week. I tracked pretty well until yesterday. I ate cookies with wreckless abandon. I regret that decision, but at the time it made me feel better. I did recoup...
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Weigh in Week 20, Birthday, and Big news
I’ve taken a step back here because we found out last week that we are moving to Alabama next week! We have so much to do and so many boxes to pack and this huge house to clean so I won’t be around...
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Home
Last week we packed up all of our earthly belongings in a frenzy and threw them in a moving truck and headed south. Matt found out the previous week that the railroad approved our transfer request so...
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Moving Weight
Moving has kicked my butt. We have been on a nonstop tour of Birmingham food and I threw point counting out the window weeks ago. I suspect most of what I’ve gained is water weight from the...
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Seriously
So annoying. I didn’t finish out the week like I would’ve liked to. I have tracked every bite that I’ve put in my mouth today. I got my hair cut today (way shorter than normal) and the hardest thing...
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Weigh in- confidence boost!
I needed this. I had several meals out last week (2 in one day!) and still tracked and pulled a loss. I’ve been diligent with drinking water and have practically flooded myself daily. I’ve been...
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How does it feel?
I’m about to get deeply personal for a minute. I know, I used to do this all the time here in this space. I stopped. Mostly to protect myself during my divorce. Then to protect my unborn child (from...
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Weigh in
I’m up slightly after my weigh in hiatus. Truthfully, I haven’t been tracking. It was nice to take a break. Quinn and I both have colds from the depths of hell and it’s been survival or nothing...
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I’m not weighing in
I’m just not. I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon with my doctor and my doctor’s office has a nutritionist and I am going to consult with them to see what to do next. I’ve been playing a weight...
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Breathing Fire
By now you’ve probably heard all about the Josh Duggar scandal. In short, he’s a pedophile and adulterer. No, I won’t say “alleged”. He’s trash. I see people saying “Leave the Duggars alone!” Nope....
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Empty Arms Again
Last November 3rd we lost our baby at 10.5 weeks. This September 14th we lost another one, this time at 7.5 weeks. Last year I was told a d&c wasn’t needed and to “wait it out”. This time my much...
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Flowers
Most people love getting flowers. I’m one of those people. I’ve gotten flowers for lots of fun stuff in my life. I’ve never gotten sympathy flowers- until today. I was furiously cleaning my entire...
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I’m still here
I want to write. I want to write all about what the fertility doctor said and about how many vials of blood they took and what the results were and how I’m holding up. I sit down to do it and can’t...
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Fertility Stuff
I wasn’t going to write about fertility or what we’re doing next. I think I thought that by not writing about it I wouldn’t have to deal with the emotions surrounding it. I was wrong. It’s so...
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I survived Hell Week
I made it out of the most painful 2 minutes of my life alive. The HSG test was a bitch, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. When the doctor first numbed my cervix I was thinking “Oh, this is not...
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Unable to Numb
Something always happens when I start tracking correctly again- I have to deal with my emotions. I’m a grown up. I deal with my emotions quite well most of the time. But I’m a binge eater, and have...
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Weigh in!
These won’t be numbered like before because really, I lose count and cuss when I have to look back and figure it out. Not surprising, tracking my food led to a loss this week. And what worked for...
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Fasting Insanity
Someone who doesn’t know may think I’m fasting and doing insanity workouts. Bwahahahahhaa no. I’m sitting at the fertility doctor’s office 1 1/4 of the way through a 2 hour glucose screening. I’m...
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